Professional Annual Review

“Let’s go to lunch and have your review.”


“Where do you want to go?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“blah blah blah” (ends up being someplace semi-expensive; company nickel after all.

“Okay, did you fill out your paperwork?”

“Yep.  Here ya go.”

“Great.  I filled out mine; read this copy, but I need it back.”

“Okay.” (Insert the sound of me reading while chewing on some manner of salad)

“Does it all make sense?”

“Except for this part about how I’m the fucking glue that holds this mess together and you’d die without me only being worth 80 points on the 100 point scale.  Other than that, yeah.”

“Right, well, I don’t believe in perfect scores.”

“I don’t believe in managers.  But I don’t see you disappearing.”

“My solipsism-Kung-Fu is more powerful than yours.”