I have this theory that the world is surrounded by an invisible energy, a force if you will, that pervades all things. I call it Potential Lap Energy, or PLE for short. Everywhere in the world where there are people, you will find storehouses of PLE. And you will find those things that thrive directly as a result of it. The ancient Egyptians must have used pyramids to focus PLE somehow, because they had major cat problems. If you think about it, this will make sense to you. Cats are PLE vampires. They exist solely to suck the PLE out of our lives and use it for their own nefarious ends. Right now, as you’re reading this, there are cats sucking the PLE out of the air you breath, maybe even sucking it right out of your… uh.
No, I’m not going to make a lap-sucking cat joke. I’m just not going to do it.